Rewind to November and I had a whole blogging schedule and plan set out from the end of last August to January this year. I was so excited to have this plan, adored every posts idea I had and finally started to feel like I was working towards my dream. I was elated. However things didn't quite go to plan, as life does, which is perfectly okay. I'd set out a jam-packed schedule for myself and although I could just about execute it I was really struggling to fit it all in whilst balancing university, especially on a course as unpredictable and full on as mine, and spending time with my loved ones. When I look back and evaluate it now I was rushing to get the posts done and uploaded, they were missing the quality I wanted [ some massively more so than others! :'( ] and it was getting me down, big time! My planning and scheduling was good and a fab step in the direction I wanted to go in, I just need to adapt it to a more effective and cohesive structure to ensure I don't damped my passion and lose the quality and sparkle in my posts! Then life came right around the corner.
Late in November I came home from university one afternoon [ thank God I did ] to study at home. Sat eating my lunch by my fury friend [ my beautiful cat Tasha ] she had a massive, out of the blue seizure :'( . This was and will always be one of the most distressing moments of my life. At her age, her hearing and sight was a little impaired and I was so frightened she couldn't her my voice trying to soothe her. I gave her lots of gentle love and strokes and rushed her to the vets. Sadly Tasha's time was up. She was an old lady who we had been given a life of luxury and love but she was ready to grace her wings up in the sky and wasn't in a well state to live, without a quality of life. Our vets were lovely and very accommodating and understanding. God bless that myself and my mum got to be with Tasha the whole time and I gently stroked her until she passed to the other world above. Although inevitable, this was a day I never saw coming.
The following days were ever so tough and times still are as she crosses my mind. Simultaneously my university work started to sky rocket and I was really starting to struggle with my lack of energy, which had been really affecting me for a while. During late November, early December, my day-to-day energy had really hit peak low. To the point where I was moody, angry and very low in mood. I was frightened and there were some times where I felt uni had pushed me to the edge and I couldn't go on. After speaking to my personal tutor I was advised to visit my doctor and the university counsellor to help with my emotions. Again I had been blessed; both were lovely. Following a blood test and consultation with my doctor I was thankfully okay [ naturally you worry the worst could be! ] and sleep has been a major factor I have been intensely working on as best I can. Working with the uni counsellor also dramatically helped too and I learnt a lot of incredible strategies to help me manage some difficult times I have been having with uni. Nevertheless, I was exhausted and drained whilst this was going on.
Come late December I was starting my university placement. Things were looking up but then my Nan fell ill. My lovely, lovely Nan had been in hospital a couple of times in the year previously and each time done ever so well and come back home, all to normal. This time wasn't so similar. During a long hospital stay my Nan went in with a reoccurring stomach problem [ which she overcame twice! ] but then had a stroke, followed by infection and then only to have progressed to a nursing home and be readmitted back to hospital with the same stomach problem again. Sadly my Nan was also nearing the end of her time on this planet too and whilst juggling working 37.5 hours a week and uni assignments I visited my nan as much as possible, until she sadly passed away. Again inevitable yet I never thought I'd see the day one of my best-est friends would leave this planet without me. I'm still coping with the journey of loss after my Nan passed to the sky above and it has been a long process organising her funeral and selling her house that is made of walls filled to the brim of my childhood memories. Likewise, I am finding it hard to let this go too but am going with the flow of the journey. Grief is a scary and deep feeling but it does get better with time. Although emotionally exhausting it has improved my spiritual connections and ways of living greatly.
And here we are now. Currently I've only two assignments left to complete for my second year of university and I'm set and ready tackling the last few months of this academic year. I'm supporting my mum as much as she is to myself whilst we close the chapter of my years with Nan and Granddad. I've embarked on a lot of personal reflection the last year, as well as this year going by and I have grown deeply in many ways. Still aiming to achieve a more positive, loving and kind life a little more every single day. Which brings me to my blog.
MY GOODNESS I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS! I have honestly been planning and waiting to write this post and return back to blogging since the clock struck midnight on the first second of this year! As I said before, my passion for blogging has not left and I am still marinating in exactly the same pot of enthusiasm I was in last year when I made the decision to up my blogging game and schedule my blogging months ahead. Therefore, get ready to see me around a lot more because I take on this mission, I want to be a blogger, I am a blogger and I'm ready to achieve all my goals! I've decided that there will be a few changes however only to further improve my blog and refine the big plans I had last year to boost my blogging game. Instead of posting weekly I'm thinking of posting more so fortnightly. One, so as I'm not rushing posts and am producing quality content, and two, so you lovely people get more time to enjoy and savour my posts! Some other things I have already been having a dabble at recently are engaging more with you bloody lovely people! A previous weekend ago I decided to vlog my weekend on Instagram stories and my goodness did you all bloody love it just as much as I did! That's something that I definitely want to keep up in some form or another! I've also reviewed my subscriptions on all my social medias to refine my feeds and ensure I'm only following content and individuals I love and who inspire me. Likewise [ which is much easier and more enjoyable now I've had a good clear out! ] I'm also trying to comment more on everyone's content and really mindfully enjoy everyone's creations.
So for now, there's a little update on what the holy moley has been going on and what the holey moley should be happening! To all that have enjoyed and chosen to follow my content, no matter how long for, and especially so throughout this difficult period I am eternally grateful for you. Because each and every one of you who like, comment, share and love my content has allowed me to share my passion and true joy and what I love with others and that just means the world to me. I have made so many beautiful and lovely friends through my blogging journey so far and I can only hope that our friendships continue to blossom throughout the future. I am so incredibly excited to be back blogging again and I cannot wait to share and grow my blogging abilities with all of you from here onward and into the abyss of the future! So keep your eyes peeled lovelies for my next post coming your way. Get ready to see a little hint of Spring from a girl with a whole lot of spring in her step! For now lovelies,